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C'est la vie....
I saw her today, and I just realised I will need more time to get over her. She seems to have gotten pretty well in her life, seems to be loving the attention other guys are showering on her, makes my quiet introspective life seem quite lonely. But then again I wouldnt trade my life for anyone elses, I love what I have, Im not obsessed as others are about earning money and swimming the capitalist tide, and I find my world rich in philosophy, and literature. But I do wish there were more people with similar interests in this city, people seem more interested in having fun than discussing the greater philosophical meanderings that I find myself wandering into. I do know that I will find more such people in a more academic environment, I guess thats why Im dying to get into TISS. I just hope my ADHD does not be too much of an obstacle at the interview round. Compared to her life I feel quite lonely :/ , but Im also an obstinate fucker and I know I wont budge from my position.

My parents are coming down in a few days, and I dont think I have ever been so excited to have them around :) . Well it feels good to know that for the next one month I will be having company around me, it gets boring sitting all alone at home at times. Yeah, I am aware that Im just obsessing about the wrong things. I dont understand my mind at times. I have always noticed this. When I was in love with this girl in college who used to go out partying a lot, I would feel sad that I didnt fit into the city's party scene, but now that Im over her I cant care a fuck, they bore me anyways, give me a good book any day. Similarly right now I feel left out that my ex seems to be having fun with other boys in her life, and I keep thinking I need to go out there and prove myself by having one night stands, though I know I cant care a fuck for that as well, but right now I feel left out, as if the whole city is involved in one giant orgy and Im just out of it :D . Im sure in time I will be over this, and my parents keeping me busy for a month should give me that boost.

Ah, being neurodivergent and an NT is quite cool, but again with the majority of folks being dumb out there its quite a bummer. Today I also realised that it was the right choice to break up with her. Her interests are too conventional. She prefers a guy who showers her with superficial attention, someone who has a conventional job and is great at talking nonsense topics, well nonsense for me atleast. Im sure Im not rationalising to get over her quicker :) , well in any way Im happy she is out, but sad that the attachment seems to be taking much longer to detangle. Ah well c'est la vie i guess.... life goes on......


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